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Why I hated London and more
I’m going to say it outright - I hated London. Because of this, I developed an illusionary love for Mumbai. Now that my hate for London and love for Mumbai has subsided, I can write about both cities objectively.
Let me clear one thing, living in a foreign country is not as glamorous as it’s made out to be. I denied this for the longest time but now that I’ve been there done that, I know better.
I am a compulsive penny pincher so living in one of the most expensive cities on a tight budget wasn’t the best idea. I thought it would be easy because I can easily get by in Mumbai on a mere Rs. 50/day budget. But I didn’t take into consideration, the fact that in Mumbai I don’t pay for groceries or rent. Converting every pound I spent drove me mad and I can’t even begin to talk about the amount of guilt I put myself through.
Another reason I thought it would be easy was because I believe you don’t need money to have fun so I had planned to spend my time walking the streets, visiting the museums and reading/writing in the parks which well, does not cost money. I did end up walking A WHOLE LOT but I couldn’t make the most of all the beautiful parks. One, because it was HORRIBLY COLD and two, because the sun set WAY TOO EARLY.
So another mistake was visiting London in the peak of winter. I’m not feeling too bad because I experienced my first snowfall which was overwhelming, beautiful, out of this world. I felt a kind of happiness that sometimes only wonders of nature can bestow on you.
The early sunsets were one of the first things that made me hate London. Yes, yes I know summers in London are beautiful and the sun stays up till as late as 9pm and I WILL go back to experience the summer.
I’m NOT a morning person and with absolutely no agenda for most days, I would stay in bed till 2 pm, sometimes pull myself out by noon but never earlier. This sucked because one, I got barely 2-3 hours of daylight and two, most places (museums, parks, etc) in London shut by 5-6 pm. I was a little afraid to roam the streets alone once it was dark so I was left with very few ‘free’ options and ended up staying indoors most of the time.
Of course there were things I loved about London.
I loved the public transport system. No matter how much Londoners crib about it, I come from Mumbai - it’s definitely going to be better for me. It’s madly expensive but it’s very well connected. I loved that there was a pub at EVERY corner. I just wish there was someone to accompany me to them. I loved the Science Museum. I loved Oxford Street, I’ve forgotten the number of times I walked the entire length. I absolutely loved the river, the expansive parks, the clear skies, the Victorian architecture, ASDA, Primark, the buildings of Canary Wharf and Barclays cycle hire. Visiting Trafalgar Square was special because one of my favourite videos has been shot there so finally seeing a place that I have seen countless times in a video was extraordinary.
I feel extremely proud of myself for pulling through 10 weeks in a completely new city where I didn’t know anyone and survived on a tight budget. For someone who is socially awkward, I met a number of new people (mostly SGI members), I went for a game night (London On Board) all by myself. The day I was leaving London, I trudged my way to the airport with 3 pieces of luggage all the way from Holloway Road to Heathrow which is going from the North East of the city to the extreme South West - an hour’s journey by tube - all by myself at 5.30 am!
While this trip won’t exactly make it to my list of favourites, it’s definitely going to be memorable for teaching me lessons, albeit the hard way.
(The image used to be the header of a website called MetroTwin Mumbai)
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Wrong Choices or Right Mistakes?
This question has been nagging me for the past few weeks. So much so that I’ve been doubting choices I made way back in 2005.
Find myself at a crossroads with a whirlwind of doubts in my head, rays of hope slowly fading and enthusiasm draining out of me.
Not like my self esteem was ever high but this time around it’s taken a real beating. Always thought that I’m clear headed and know exactly what I want. But life has its way of grabbing you by your ankles and thrusting you to the ground.
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Teacher’s Pet
It’s been close to three weeks since I took up a temporary job at a preschool and I haven’t been happier. Initially, it was a little weird when they addressed me as ‘teacher’ but now I have a hundred reasons I love spending my day with these toddlers even if it leaves me humming nursery rhymes unconsciously through the day.
I want to write about all their idiosyncrasies but right now I’m just going to talk about my favourite (yes, I have a favourite) who keeps me grinning from ear to ear and whom I cannot stop talking about!
He’s the Teacher’s Pet and he knows it. He loves the attention and cannot bear to share it with the rest. While the other kids sit in a line next to each other, he wants to sit on the teacher’s lap. While he can very well eat on his own, he wants to be fed. He’ll make a noise and be extra bratty when he’s not getting special treatment. But he’s so adorable - it’s impossible to be angry with him, with any of them!
He LOVES vehicles and says he wants to grow up and be a mechanic. He’s got a favourite book on vehicles that he makes me read to him at least 5 times, everyday! It’s so cute to see him listening intently, looking in wonder and taking in every word. When I ask him which car he has - “I have a Hyundai i10 but I like Toyota Corolla.”
There was a picture of a tow truck in the book so I asked him, “What does this do?”
“It tows cars.”
“Why do cars get towed?”
“Because when they are parked in the wrong place, the tow truck takes them away.”
All of this from a 3-year-old!
He’ll proudly claim, “I made a mess” as if he’s done something good. He loves wearing jeans and is awfully scared of balloons. ”No, no take it away from me!” he repeatedly screams at the sight of a balloon as he holds me tight. When on the merry-go-around, he’ll yell as he holds his head, “Go slow! I’m dizzy.”
He talks very fast so it’s difficult to understand what he’s saying and he can’t pronounce ‘S’ so it’s REALLY CUTE! One day he enters complaining, “It so hot!”
“Why is it hot?”
“Because it tummer teaton.”
When he wants to sleep, he’ll say, “I want to do cozy cozy. Give me tofty tofty pillow, I want to do cozy.”
He loves Nutella, chocolate and Mad Over Donuts. Everyday he refuses to leave when his mum comes to pick him up and everyday she promises to buy him a donut. He finally knows my name and keeps asking for me when he’s at home too. Did I mention I’ve been grinning ear to ear?
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Make it Work
Something I’ve learnt over the last few years: Stop waiting for your knight in shining armour or Mr. Perfect with a list of “ideal” qualities or the “right” moment. I believe the fairytales we grow up listening to, give us unrealistic expectations about love. There is no perfect relationship. Every relationship takes effort, you make it work.
Relationships last long because two people made a choice — to KEEP it, FIGHT for it and WORK for it.
‘You have to pick one person and make it work.’
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Animality
Even though we are clearly a part of the animal world, we are distinguished from other animals by the possession of faculties by which we make judgments. It is when we do not exercise these faculties that we can truly be said to be in the world of Animality.
- Richard Causton explaining one of The Ten Worlds in The Buddha in Daily Life
A couple of days back, one of Mumbai’s lifelines - the Central Railway - was disrupted by a fire that broke out in the wee hours. If you’re an average Mumbaikar (or from any metropolitan) who depends on public transport, minor delays are enough to start your day on a bad note - which only leads to a downward spiral for the rest of the day.
Most people’s tolerance levels are full to the brim by the end of the day, so even a slight instigation is enough to set off an otherwise calm person on a spew of lethal abuses.
I was witness to one such incident, the evening of the train delays. Two women fought for fifteen straight minutes - hurling abuses, slapping and beating each other - only because one hadn’t given way to the other while getting on to the train. She possibly couldn’t - there was no space to give. But neither was willing to accept better judgment. They were right at the foot board of the moving train, one of the women with a baby in hand.
I’m not new to a scene of this kind but for some reason it made me very anxious. Maybe because it was a stark contrast to how I had started my day - with a bunch of energetic and full of life toddlers.
It saddens me, what we grow up to become. With no fault of our own, life’s pressures eating us up, from the inside out.
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Happiness
Happiness only real when shared.
- Christopher McCandless, Into The Wild
Into The Wild is one of my favourite movies but I’ve always been disappointed with the end. For some reason, I’ve firmly been against the fact that man is a social animal. One of the many things that the London trip changed for me was this. I’ve always believed that I can be decently comfortable by myself but this started to change during my time at Vipassana and while I was in London, I understood that I crave the company of my friends and family as much as the next person.
To begin with, it’s absolutely no fun cooking for yourself. By the time you’re done preparing the meal, you don’t even feel hungry anymore. 
I remember feeling particularly alone when I was standing in front of Tower Bridge and taking in the view. (You won’t understand the hype unless you’re actually a few feet away from it.) I thought to myself, ‘I’m finally standing in front of this bridge that I’ve seen numerous times in movies and photos, I’m finally seeing it up close.’ But I had no one to share the moment with. Even something like visiting the museum that can totally be a solo activity was incomplete without someone by my side. Not to mention, London is a cruel city for the solo traveller. There are couples all around. On the tube, the escalators, at bars, the museums, the parks, by the river - everywhere!
Throughout my school/college life, I haven’t been one to ‘hang out’. But over the last year and a half, I’ve been getting out a lot - be it for drinks or coffee, dinner or just a walk on the beach. While initially it was nice and felt fancy to sit in a coffee shop in London all by yourself, looking ‘writer-ly’ with my netbook et all. It got lonely after a while and I lost the enthusiasm to get out. Thinking to myself, ‘Ah, it’s just going to be me with myself - can do that sitting at home too.’
I’ve realised the true value of my family while I was away (cliche I know, but so true!). While we’re not a bunch of talkers and don’t really sit at the dinner table for every meal, it’s a nice feeling to know that they’re around - whether it’s mom in the kitchen, dad in the living room or my siblings fighting with each other. Also, it’s a whole new level of comfort (that you don’t realise till you’ve been away) to share a room with someone whom you can fight with. I don’t have to think twice before screaming at my sister to get out of the room with her phone or switch off the damn air conditioner. You have the freedom to vent out your annoyance and move on instead of keeping it to yourself and letting it build up.
And let’s not forget the pictures! Who wants to see pictures of only you in different locations. Even I don’t want to see them! Happiness is indeed real when shared.
P.S. All posts aren’t going to be this sappy.
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Keep Calm
It’s been more than two weeks since I got back from London and I’ve simply been putting off writing about it. To my pleasant surprise, there are a handful of people who have actually been waiting for me to blog about my trip (hugs and kisses to them).
There are two reasons I wasn’t writing up until now:
1. I was being super lazy and every time I thought about blogging about London, I thought to myself - Oh my god, there’s so much to write, where should I start and it’s going to be so long, blah, blah and blah. Basically, excuses to procrastinate.
2. I REALLY, REALLY missed Mumbai while I was away. And considering the love and hate relationship I have with this city, I wanted to give myself time to figure out whether it was just because I was away from familiar surroundings or because I actually realised that Mumbai may in fact be as awesome as it’s made out to be. And now it’s safe to say (yet hesitant about it, but okay), maybe it’s home to me but Mumbai is AWESOME.
So, this post officially kickstarts my series of anecdotes and experiences from my time in London. I preferred to break it up because it would get tiresome for me and you if it were one BIG, never ending post.
Keep Calm and Carry On Reading :-)
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Self Love →
My first celebrity interview from 2 years ago for OK! INDIA. One that I can never tire of reading or pimping :D
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Grass is always greener…
I was under the impression that citizens of a First World country would have little to complain about. But I was so wrong. A couple of days ago I visited St. Paul’s Cathedral and saw the Occupy London camp site. I didn’t know much about it until I got home and read up on Wikipedia. They’re protesting against the rising cost of living (Living in London is expensive!) But still, I thought there wouldn’t be much to complain about because I was under the impression that living in a First World country means that everybody is rich. I was so wrong.
People also complain about the transport system! These Londoners really need to experience Mumbai’s trains and not to mention the arrogant rickshaw wallahs to know what a disorganised transport system really means!
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Quora
I’ve recently discovered another of the internet’s wonders - Quora. And as if I didn’t already have a pile of unread books and bookmarked pages, here’s another treasure chest of quality reading material that demands a chunk of my time. A couple of days back I was browsing the question, “What are some of the best quotes about how to live your life?” You may think this question would be full of the cheesy “Life is like an ice cream” kind of quotes but no. Sharing some excerpts that stayed with me…
It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.
- President Theodore Roosevelt
A life spent making mistakes is more useful than a life spent doing nothing.
- George Bernard Shaw
It is our failure to become our perceived ideal that ultimately defines us and makes us unique. It’s not easy, but if you accept your misfortune and handle it right, your perceived failure can become a catalyst for profound re-invention.
- Conan O’Brien
Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure — these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.
- Steve Jobs
If I had listened to the critics, I’d have died drunk in the gutter.
– Chekov
Sometimes people let the same problem make them miserable for years when they could just say, “So what?” That’s one of my favorite things to say. “So what?” “My mother didn’t love me.” So what? “My husband won’t ball me.” So what? “I’m a success but I’m still alone.” So what? I don’t know how I made it through all the years before I learned how to do that trick. It took a long time for me to learn it, but once you do, you never forget.
- Andy Warhol
